Posts by Glass_Joe

This is just a perfect example of how if you don't evolve, you get left behind, and in this instance, the superior aesthetics and formulas of games like Modern Warfare take your place. And you aren't being nit-picky at all man. I agree 110% with you that Infinity Ward absolutely trumps Halo outright graphically. I just wanted to hold off on the comparisons so people didn't play that "ur a fanboy lol rofl umad" card. Anyone who disagrees can take any level from any Halo game and compare it to any level of Modern Warfare 2 and the attention to detail is just stunning once you realize how indistinct, careless, and, in all honesty, lazy Bungie really has become.

Also, as an appendage to the actual review, I'd like to add in a few other things.

The levels in multiplayer have reached a point that almost none of them stick out to me anymore and they're about as canned as corn, much like the design of the single-player.

The game type Invasion Slayer is also extremely broken. Spartans spawn with an assault rifle and the Elites spawn with a plasma rifle and pistol...on the 10 mile wide Hemorrhage. Add to that the serious lopsidedness once the Scorpion tank is unlocked for the Spartans and you won't be able to spawn without being killed, resulting in the most obnoxious 15 minutes you may have ever spent with any Halo game.

I have a feeling this list is …

This is it. You’ve aged that cache of Mountain Dew Game Fuel in your finished basement for three years sinceHalo 3. You bit the bullet on your purchase of Halo: ODST to find out it was as tame as you had expected. You took another one on the chin with Halo Wars, which was a cheaper gimmick than Lion King toys in a McDonald's Happy Meal (stupid Ensemble Studios). The wait for redemption is finally here. The golden child to a decade’s long culmination of gaming’s premier and most coveted franchise has arrived. Ladies and gentlemen, Halo: Reach has entered the building.

I played Halo religiously before I even went to my first prom. I played Halo 2 all throughout college, droppings fools with the plasma pistol/battle rifle combo. I even waited in line at the midnight release of Halo 3 and have never laughed so hard in my entire life when the first person to buy their Legendary Edition ran outside, fell to his knees in front of the line, held the packaging above his head, and screamed “HAAAALLLLLOOOOOOOOO” while his friend blared the Halo 2 soundtrack from his mom’s minivan. These are smiles and memories I will take with me forever

With that being said, any reviewer praising this campaign as the greatest in the series is exhibiting some sort of sentiment towards this being Bungie’s ride into the sunset. The story behind Reach is very easily the most anti-climactic, insipid, drawn-out, and …

Does Tom Hudgson = Glass Joe?

Must be nice to get paid for playing games :)

Do you know if its available on MS-Windows 7? Or just PSN and Xbox Live? Oh well, its probably too difficult for an old man like me anyway. I have yet to play Donkey Kong :(

Haha with an attitude like that you'll never be able to enjoy yourself AD! As long as you have a pulse and can press buttons, you will absolutely adore this game.

Sadly, it is only available on PSN and Xbox Live, but you raise a good point with it lacking the availability of Windows 7 support, which would easily be able to handle it. Why the developers don't open their games up to the PC/Mac market is beyond me.

I tell yah though, it's never too late to own a PS3, especially if you don't have a Blu-ray player.

The overall rating rating for Castle Crashers is a 9/10. I have no idea why it didn't post in actual review.

In my recently reviewed Shank , I talked about how the title was a throwback to a genre neglected in the modern gameosphere. The once lively and marketable side-scrolling beat-em-up seemed to have died with 8-bit/16-bit consoles and the arcades, left to only shame itself with pitiful modern iterations of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles games, which produce a knee-jerk reaction like when the New Kids on the Block came back to tour.

Two years in the making, Castle Crashers finally arrives on the PSN. Following the games release on Xbox Live, it went on to win accolades far and wide for its beautifully vivid animations and the coma of awesomeness it put players into, walking away with Game of the Year awards from many publications. Why the distance in between the separate releases is anyone’s guess. The fact of the matter it is here, and man oh man is it nostalgic bliss for all your senses.

Unique to this title is the depth brought forth by a role-playing element which allows players to level up with XP, increase their stats, and gather unique loot spread across the world. It’s Legend of Zelda meets Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game, the two of whom hit it off in a cheap, dimly lit hotel room and made Castle Crashers.

Players travel across a world map and must collect certain items to unlock passage to inaccessible locales to complete all 20 missions and save …

If I had to call out one particular line, it would be this one, which is particularly vacuous and worthy of any traditional demagogue:

"Aren’t these soldiers fighting for our freedoms and sensibilities, the same ones that constitutional rights uphold and protect? My heart goes out to their valiant souls and their unnerved families, as they sit and pray for the day their loved ones will return home."

That's playing to the grandstand, my friend.

Hello Jon. I made the latter part of that comment so people would understand I wasn't some callous, mentally deficient sociopath who enjoys seeing our soldiers die in the Middle East. Now that you know this, and considering it was a cornerstone to your viewpoint that I'm some sentimentalist, which you deduced after misinterpreting something from a single line out of everything I've typed, where to next? Also it's interesting to note how you leave out the very next paragraph which helps tie in the "sentiment" I used, making my statement that much more applicable: "Haven’t these noble enlistees earned the right to do whatever they please?" And as for "Aren’t these soldiers fighting for our freedoms and sensibilities, the same ones that constitutional rights uphold and protect?" -- it still applies and makes glaring sense.

I don't think there is anything hollow behind any of the "rhetoric" here. So your definition of grandstanding is to have adamant opinions and beliefs and to articulate said views firmly and definitively? So who am I grandstanding …

I still think there may be some obtuse and disingenuous grandstanding here, however.

To whom and how does the definition of the word "grandstanding" apply?

First and foremost, we are talking about Xbox Live, not everyone who plays on an Xbox. Your insinuation is completely inaccurate.

Secondly, if I had called everyone an imbecile and a moron, the number would be 100%. If you have ever used the service (which judging from all of this sounds like you haven't) to hear the unadulterated bigotry riddled through every match you play or kids shouting, screaming, and singing into their mics, you would understand why I left it at a slim .1%. My statement was steeped heavily in sarcasm and was appreciated I'm sure by avid Xbox Live users, which you can see referenced from the rep of the posting.

Lastly, Xbox Live is not comprised of just "young people." In fact, the most successful demographic for video games is 18-34 at 45%. People aged 35+ also comprise 11% of the userbase. Video games transcend age limits, and assuming that their usage is bound by the stereotypes of ageism is ridiculously uneducated when video game media accounts for 5% of household entertainment spending, outpacing print subscriptions, premium TV, home video and music.

Just my two cents.

Then pray tell good sir, what was its purpose outside of being sarcastic?

Banning something will only make people want it more because they can't have it. There's no such thing as bad press.

Are you trying to be funny?

I'll say it again: this game is wrong on so many levels.
The human mind, especially the teenager mind is very impressionable. This game should be banned or at the bare minimum have everyone be over 18 & carded & sign sometype of legal agreement. I am sure some stores will refuse to carry it while others see the dissatisfaction of their customers and stop selling it. Seriously, what were the game designers thinking? I design games & I leave anything to do with politics out of my games. Yes, this has to do with politics and so much more like morals and ethics.
Ding my rating all you want on here. I still won't change my comments.

That's fantastic...you said it again. That means I get to read the same baseless rhetoric twice. On what levels is this wrong? You have discussed how this issue has made YOU feel, so now explain why its a blemish to society. I truly don't think you've read anything that anybody has typed. Also, the sky is blue and dogs wag their tails when they're happy.

It's called the ESRB and stores carding people for games with a Mature rating. Do you have any idea at all about anything you're typing, or is it all just sort of loosely falling out of your head to your fingers to bang together words on the keyboard? If you're a game designer, seems as though you'd know these sorts of things.

This …

I agree 110% PCS. I got so fed up with this dumpy game and writing the review for it, I just wanted it to be done with. But you're completely accurate with the waypoint system. You are always left guessing where to go, as the markers disappear and reappear for no reason at all. Plus, the markers are all the same style and the lines the same color, so it's literally like flipping a coin when deciding which path to choose to complete your mission. All in all, a terrible game that was so far and away from anyone's expectations with the title.

I interpret it as meaning mentally incompetent people who fail to formulate sentences past a 4th grade level and lace them with homophobic, racist remarks as substance instead.

It's no longer a word used to technically describe Down syndrome, more so as it is used to describe imbeciles and morons, which means it's perfect for 99.9% of Xbox Live users. ;)

I am so glad Ancient Dragon was here to defend those who serve and have served in the military.
My dad,my uncle, my grandfather, my great-grandfather, my great-great grandfather all served in the military. I am so glad that the government banned the game from being sold on the base. I think that this level should be banned altogether, but it is freedom of speech so it is allowed even though it is sickly warped, morbid, vile and Anti-Earth. Letting people play as the Taliban might give them the wrong impression. I keep seeing references to grand theft auto and how it didn't cause any problems. I know that a major fact has been ignored by gamers that GTA was the cause of at least one Real Life issue that I remember reading about off the top of my head. Three cops died because of an 18 year old who killed real cops after playing the Grand Theft Auto game. A long time ago when GTA was new a friend said this is a cool game. I put it in my system turned it on and as fast as I turned the game on I turned it off. I highly discourage the company from releasing this anti-american, anti-british, anti-earth level and if they do I highly question their judgment. You can give me negative ratings all you want. I know what is right and what isn't and this is not right!!
When I say anti-earth, I am NOT …

I am also in the minority then. I have always been a firm believer in if something isn't broken, then there is no reason to fix it. Call of Duty has become the definite multiplayer experience, silencing decades ruled by franchises like Quake and Unreal Tournament. Judging from the time I've spent on both Modern Warfares, I'm not worried about my dollar getting its value here with new weapons, killstreaks, modes, and maps.

If this video doesn't pump you up to play this game, you don't have a pulse: Inside XBOX Black Ops Video

Exactly, my friend. This was why everyone was scoffing at the lawsuit when this news broke. How are they going to gain any ground when it's all essentially under the public license? Wherever there's a boatload of money to be made, there are lawsuits to follow, so I guess we shouldn't really be surprised anymore. They will almost certainly get nowhere and will just crawl back into their hole with lawyer fees through the roof.

I wholeheartedly disagree with you, Dragon.

My point wasn't that the military doesn't have the right to ban this game. It was that men and women in the armed forces are dying for our freedoms of choice when they aren't even afforded any for themselves. Now they're going to intervene with which forms of entertainment media our soldiers choose to enjoy? It's asinine. This isn't about loyalties; this is about sensibilities.

Have you ever watched Platoon, Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypse Now, Black Hawk Down, Band of Brothers, or The Pacific? How are they any more or less an insult than the scenarios one will play witness to within Medal of Honor? It's a huge double standard. In the end, all you're choosing to do is surround yourself with things that better suit you.

Like Vernon says, you could literally make a point like this with the release of any game, movie, or album; relating this to Grand Theft Auto is a perfect example. What a miserable existence it would be if people took everything with a grain of salt. Why even get out of bed in the morning if every offensive crevice and facet of modern society upset you? It wouldn't even be a feasible existence. That is why people have the freedom to choose what brings them joy, a freedom good people die for. That is why this is ridiculous.

Men and women in the military are already told when to wake, what to eat, …

It came as a shock to many people that the “No Russian” mission in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 allowed players to act with such extreme malicious intent. The inclusion of the mission sparked a blazing controversy amongst pundits and critics alike, with its gratuitous depiction of terrorists mowing down innocent civilians at a crowded Russian airport. It was one of the most intimately morbid moments in recent gaming history.

It doesn’t come as any shock that after all the public scrutinyModern Warfare 2 received, the soon-to-be released Medal of Honor is being met with resistance before the title even hits the front lines. After it was announced gamers will have the option to play as a Taliban terrorist at some branch of the story, which follows Tier 1 special operatives in modern day Afghanistan, the U.S. Military threw the red flag and outlawed its sale at bases across the country.

"We regret any inconvenience this may cause authorized shoppers, but are optimistic that they will understand the sensitivity to the life-and-death scenarios this product presents as entertainment," said Maj. Gen. Bruce Casella, who commands the Army & Air Force Exchange Service.

The game has already been banned at nearly 300 Army and Air Force base exchange shops. The Navy was quick to follow suit, barring it from 104 of their exchange shops, as well. The prohibition also looms over the 49 GameStops located nationally on military bases.

"At the hands of the Taliban, …

Xbox Live is a breeding ground for hateful, inflammatory remarks of all genders, races, creeds, and sexualities, where aimless insecurities are flung around like rocks at street signs. Who would have thought that it would be Microsoft doing the discriminating for once?

A 26-year-old gamer from Fort Gay, West Virginia was banned momentarily from his monthly membership when Microsoft enforcement officials deemed his profile inappropriate. His crime? Listing himself as a proud resident of "fort gay WV."

"At first I thought, 'Wow, somebody's thinking I live in the gayest town in West Virginia or something.' I was mad. ... It makes me feel like they hate gay people," said Josh Moore, an unemployed factory worker.

When Moore contacted Xbox Live to explain how wrongful a decision they had made, the agent seemed impervious and unwavering to the fact that Fort Gay was called home by roughly 800 citizens. Even offering a zip code didn’t deter the iron fist of the voice over the phone, who told him if he chose to reference Fort Gay in his profile again, they would cancel his membership.

The incident gained the attention of Mayor David Thompson, who tried his hand at amending the situation and was met with the same fate, being told that the word “gay” was inappropriate no matter what the context.

"It was so inappropriate for them, they wouldn't even say the word," Thompson told the Associated Press. "They said, 'that word.' It's beyond me. That's the …

Goonies aren’t the only ones that never say die.Duke Nukem Forever has finally seen the light of day after what will be 14 years coming upon its newly anticipated 2011 release date and 923859023 jokes later about how the game has taken “forever”. And in local news, pigs are flying over yetis parading on unicorns at the Loch Ness Monster's birthday party, while Satan pulls off a triple Lutz in hell.

The long-awaited title made its debut earlier today in front of attendees at this year’s Penny Arcade Expo (PAX), taking place from September 3-5 at the Washington State Convention Center. Videos were quick to surface online, depicting everyone’s favorite bubble gum-chewing, cigar smoking, quick-witted protagonist ridding the world of alien scum with some really big guns and a monster truck fit for the king himself.

“Hail to the king, baby! It's unbelievable, it kicks ass and it's totally going to happen!” said Randy Pitchford, president of Gearbox Software, "Gearbox has enabled die-hard key Duke Nukem franchise builders and skilled veteran game makers to stand together and deliver. All gamers deserve a happy ending and after all of us gamers feeling the full range of emotions about Duke Nukem Forever, I am thrilled to be in a position with the trust, power and means to make it happen. Am I crazy? Balls of steel, baby, balls of steel!”

Developer Gearbox is best known for their work on Borderlands, Brothers in Arms, and on many of …

After Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 set the bar as to what the franchise could achieve, nobody envied the shoes that Treyarch had been asked to fill with producing the next installment. Their previous involvement and lackluster contributions to the franchise were what Aquaman brought to the table for the Justice League of America. Not anymore, as the studio embarks on the largest launch in Activision history with guns a blazing. Treyarch is upping the ante with Black Ops, literally. The studio just released a video highlighting their four new free-for-all modes which will make matches that much more frenetic and addicting, giving action junkies a double fix of headshots and gambling.

Wager Matches are the new competitive game types offered inBlack Ops' multiplayer, where gamers get to wager Call of Duty Points (CP), the in-game currency that you use to purchase weapons, upgrades, and character customizations. Players use their CPs to bet on placing in the top three spots, known as being "In the Money". CPs are an entirely separate entity from the XP one gains to advance in rank, so they definitely tote some worth and significance for players looking to branch out with their weapons and classes. If you thought trash talking 12-year-olds and people from Brooklyn were bad before, wait until November.

The four new modes are:
One in the Chamber
Players only spawn in with a pistol, a single bullet, and three lives. If you kill somebody, you …

If there are two things I enjoy in life, it’s mob movies and shooting people in video games, so naturally, I was excited to playMafia 2, the recently released mobster offering from 2K Games. This excitement was soon shot down like Spider in Goodfellas.

You play as Vito, the generically named Italian immigrant trying to escape a childhood of poverty and crime. Fresh off a tour of duty in World War 2, you arrive home to your old friend Joe offering you small-time jobs for local made men and are blinded my the lifestyle it will allow you to lead. This is right before you are blinded by all the glaring problems of this game.

Underwhelming graphics are as dated as the era they try to detail, with an ambitious story lost in the shoddy design of a game seemingly archaic when compared to other next-gen titles. With its grainy textures, lagging frame rates, terrible lip syncing, and broken character animations, it legitimately feels like a Playstation title at times. It is just a very uninspiring, flavorless experience, a dish that tastes like Vinnie’s motha’s pasta fazool. Oh, hey!

Car handling is slow and wretched, albeit probably realistic to the time, but why not spare some expense at authenticity’s sake to provide something enjoyable for the player considering they’re spending 80% of your game behind the wheel of some putt-putt vehicle fresh off the Ford assembly line?

Adding to the sense of divide are …

Come with me if you want to rock.

What is easily the greatest thing you’ve seen all week looks like an alternate ending toTerminator 2: Judgment Day, one that didn't leave me in tears and featured Ahhhnold rocking the main stage at Ozzfest, which isn't a far stretch this year with a leather-clad Rob Halford as a supporting act. The stainless steel stand, created by artist Christopher Conte, is a true marvel in every sense, much like the man behind the work.

The Norwegian born illustration major earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Fine Art (BFA) from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn while studying anatomy at the Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. He would later go on to work in the medical sector building prosthetic limbs for amputees for 16 years. In his spare time, he melded his love for both realms of his standout creativity into artistic expressions fit for any modern exhibition. His sculptures, a combination between original components and recycled parts from the aerospace and medical industries, are the cybernetic love child of a Leonardo DaVinci design sketch, an H.R. Giger painting, and Skynet. They have been featured on The Discovery Channel, MTV Networks, and in Discover Magazine, Wired Magazine, and Popular Science Magazine. His designs even sparked the interest and an eventual partnership with engineers at Northrop Grumman, designer and manufacturer of military aircraft, weapons, and defense systems. Hasn't our military learned anything from Hollywood?!?!

In a recent interview with Dark Matter Magazine, …

I just found this after you got me wondering to myself if there was a place to trade-in DVDs.

http://target.nextworth.com/#/tab_page_column_features=0/

I can't find a date as to when it launched, but you, my friend, are apparently in luck. I didn't even know this existed before Google a few minutes ago, but it's apparently been out for close to two years now.

Used video games sales are a booming business. When it released last week that GameStop’s earnings had risen 4.2 percent to $40.3 million, up from $38.7 million from 2009--numbers which accounted for 31.7 percent of their annual sales--analysts weren’t the only ones eagerly awaiting the figures.

After it was announced yesterday (August 25th) that Target was launching its new consumer electronics services program, including a tech support line, expanded availability of its Target Mobile centers at store branches, and highlighted by the launch of an in-store electronics trade-in program at 850 of its locations throughout September, Best Buy followed suit today by announcing its own used games prerogative.

Starting this Sunday, August 29th, the new Best Buy Trade-In program kicks off at nearly 600 of its retail outlets. As a special promotion, consumers will receive a $20 Best Buy Gift Card for their participation in the programs launch. Trades can be completed at dedicated trade-in counters available in some stores or at the Customer Service desk in all others. An initial 100 titles will be featured for store credit, with more titles and eventually used game sales becoming available once they build up a steady supply.

"The expansion of our trade-in program reaffirms our commitment to consistently pursue new ways to bring a better gaming experience to consumers," said Chris Homeister, senior vice president and general manager for the home entertainment group at Best Buy. "Fall marks the launch of several highly-anticipated gaming titles and …

If the woman with the British accent suggests you turn left to find a fire hydrant, heed to her warning.

Earlier today (August 25th), GPS maker Garmin announced a voluntarily recall of 1.25 million nüvi GPS systems worldwide due to a faulty third-party battery which causes certain models to overheat when interacting with the circuitry. Roughly 800,000 of these recalled units were purchased in the U.S.

From the Garmin site regarding the issue:
[INDENT]Garmin is voluntarily recalling certain nüvi devices that contain a specific battery that was manufactured by the battery supplier within a limited date code range. Garmin has identified potential overheating issues when certain batteries manufactured by the third-party battery supplier within a limited date code range are used in certain Garmin nüvi models with a specific printed circuit board (PCB) design. It appears that the interaction of these factors can, in rare circumstances, increase the possibility of overheating, which may lead to a fire hazard. Although there have been no injuries or significant property damage caused by this issue, Garmin is taking this action out of an abundance of caution.

The recalled devices include a small subset of the following nüvi model numbers:nüvi 200W, 250W, & 260W
nüvi 7xx (where xx is a two-digit number)
You can determine your nüvi model number by looking at the label on the back or bottom of your nüvi.[/INDENT]
Recalls have been all a flutter in 2010. In May, Targus, …

Long gone are the days ofDouble Dragon, Ninja Gaiden, and Final Fight, the classic side-scrolling beat-em-up titles I grew up on as a kid while sitting in front of my TV in Mario PJs. The torch was passed to a newer generation of titles, allowing for players to take their weapons and fists off the 2D plain and into the 3D realm of the God of Wars and Devil May Crys. Then there’s Shank, who takes all your fond memories and stabs them repeatedly with a sharpened piece of nostalgia.

Shank is a classic video game tale of revenge: guy loses girl, guy climbs across seedy city skylines and through back alley bars and strip clubs to find her killers, guy fights rough and tumble street trash generically named “Jeffe” and “Roxy”, guy fights larger than life boss battles at the close of each mission, guy finds redemption by killing crime syndicate boss at story’s end. The game was written by God of War co-creator Marianne Krawczyk, who is obviously no stranger to the tune of gore and redemption, a song which Kratos sings in falsetto. In your wake, you leave a trail of lusciously detailed corpses as you travel from left to right in search of justice.

Comparisons between the violently stylized, graphic novel-esque art direction of Shank and the gritty revenge titles of Robert Rodriguez (El mariachi, Desperado, and the soon to be released Machete) will be inescapable. It’s as if the powers …

It’s been a long time coming.StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty is here, and in similar fashion, my review of it has finally arrived. It’s tough to completely take in just everything Wings of Liberty offers in a day or a week, and treated as such, we have a review that has been almost a month in the making.

StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty is easily one of the most anticipated sequels of our generation. StarCraft's appeal has spanned over an entire decade since its release in March 1998 and went on to become one of the highest grossing PC games of all-time. South Koreans practically put the game's box art on their flag, holding annual competitions for professional players sponsored like athletes. Will the sequel live up to the hype?

This, that, and the single-player

Pulling my loyalty away from Warcraft III and Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne would be like some movie coming along not named Predator and winning my affection as the greatest action movie ever filmed. Having now had a chance to entrench myself in Wings of Liberty, I can easily say that the single-player campaign is epic like only Blizzard knows how to make, with a stellar plot and stunning cutscenes leading way into my greatest real-time strategy experience of all-time.

Players unfamiliar with the StarCraft story won't be left in the dark, as it manages to call back upon previous events throughout the course of the original title. The …

VIZIO has long been the bargain shopper’s HDTV brand of choice. Peppered across shelves in Wal-Mart, Costco, and Target electronics department, the displays—albeit not the most advanced in terms of picture quality—have always been reliably, affordable, and completely viable options for people wanting to achieve the new American dream of owning a HDTV and Dolby Surround setup to come home to after another laborious 9-to-5.

For a company that started with three employees and $600,000, VIZIO has gone on to become one of the leading LCD television manufacturers, just a fraction of a percent behind Samsung in 2010 sales. Their competitively priced models have helped solidify them as a recognized brand amongst their peers (Toshiba, LG, Samsung) and have helped separate them from the lagging Sony, a company who's HDTV offerings have all but been put down behind the tool shed like Old Yeller.

Coming just a day after releasing year-over-year sales figures showing 31% growth, which is nearly double the industry average of 16%, VIZIO announced on Friday (August 20th) the availability of their new upper echelon TVs: the RazorLED and TruLED XVT series.

"VIZIO is solidifying its position as a technology and performance leader with the introduction of the new generation of XVT HDTVs," said John Schindler, VIZIO VP New Products. "Our dedication to high performance drives us to use the best commercially available technology. Each of our XVT TruLED sets uses a Full Array with local dimming that produces an unquestioned superior picture. Many competitive manufacturers …

Two words: good luck!

If you’re a petty thief, an iPhone must look like a mobile Mona Lisa. Their sleek design, variety of features, portability, coveted ownership, and lofty price make for an appealing and readily available target. But scum of the earth pay heed: Apple filed for a patent yesterday (August 19th) to undermine iPhone theft by remote disabling of the stolen devices and sending you to the clink for your tomfoolery.

The patent, titled "Systems and Methods for Identifying Unauthorized Users of an Electronic Device”, provides lost or stolen iPhone owners with peace of mind and employs a variety of methods to determine the legitimacy of the user on the device and information regarding its whereabouts.

Unauthorized users will be detected through a plethora of capabilities: voice recordings, keylogs, geotagged photographs of the surroundings, screenshots of the device, GPS coordinates, an “accelerometer operable to record a vibration profile of the electronic device” to identify the mode in which the thief is traveling, detailed summaries of the phone's use (including cell phone numbers, sent texts, etc.), and will even include a heartbeat sensor.

However, the most applicable means of identifying the thief will be the integrated use of the iPhone camera into the security measures. A password prompt will be sent to the device once it has been deemed unauthorized, which after a certain number of failed attempts, snaps a flashless, noiseless photo of the unassuming perpetrator. New user controls will also give owners the ability …

It's like something out of Demolition Man or The Fifth Element or (insert futuristic 90s action movie here).

If you’ve ever checked out of a grocery store, you’ve seen Cosmopolitan, Seventeen’s hussy mother, prominently on display in magazine racks next to packs of Juicy Fruit and 2-for-1 Heath Bars promising “7 New Ways to Satisfy Your Lover.” The editorials, which are laughable at best, have helped bring men from Mars and women from Venus past their relationship issues together on a mattress here on Earth. If you’re sick of paying for yearly subscriptions to the world’s leading estrogen journal to have to sift through 150 pages of perfume ads to learn "The Passion Pretzel" or the "Frolicking Fruit Roll-Up" (I made that one up because the first one made me hungry), then you’re in luck!

Today,Cosmo released the “Sex Position of the Day” app on Google’s Android Market. Users looking for their daily dose of carnal knowledge will have to look no further than their touchscreens. The app provides users with a new sex position daily, displayed in a colorful, cartoonish depiction of the Kama Sutra poses. A Carnal Challenge rating displays in saucy little flames the difficulty of the position, while the Erotic Instructions narrate the next 10 minutes of your life.

The app has been available since December 2009 in the iTunes Store and has been downloaded more than 80,000 by users like “The Fashion Office”, who described the product as, “Rated Triple F: Fun, Fearless & Fabulous.” User Loudan Claire raises some concerns: “Too bad it cannot be used offline: I …

Intel announced on Thursday their agreement to purchase all of McAfee’s common stocks at $48 a share, a deal approximately worth $7.68 billion. McAfee will act as a wholly-owned subsidiary and report to Intel’s Software and Services Group. The endeavor marks what is sure to be a harmonious relationship for two of the world’s leading hardware and software companies at a time when mobile markets are booming, a sector which remains untapped from a securities standpoint.

"Our view is that everywhere we sell a microprocessor, there is an opportunity to sell security software with it," said Paul Otellini, Intel president and CEO. “With the rapid expansion of growth across a vast array of Internet-connected devices, more and more of the elements of our lives have moved online. In the past, energy-efficient performance and connectivity have defined computing requirements. Looking forward, security will join those as a third pillar of what people demand from all computing experiences."

“The addition of McAfee products and technologies into the Intel computing portfolio brings us incredibly talented people with a track record of delivering security innovations, products and services that the industry and consumers trust to make connecting to the Internet safer and more secure,” Otellini added.

The acquisition comes on the heels of two incredibly successful years for Intel and McAfee, who both posted huge financial gains in Q2 of this year. Intel saw its profits soar to record heights, reaching $2.9 billion, a number which shadowed …

It was only a matter of time before Hollywood's depiction of "the future" started to grow strikingly similar to something one would find in Best Buy's Sunday flyer.

The Philips Fluid Smartphone was unveiled earlier today (August 18th), the first device since Doc Brown used banana peels and Miller beer in the Mr. Fusion Home Energy Reactor to get to the future that has made me laugh. Conceptualized by Brazilian designer Dinard da Mata, the phone is as every bit as pliable as the title suggests. With the use of an organic light emitting diode (OLED) screen, the phone can wrap into a bracelet around the user's wrist, allowing you to wear its functionality like it's a trendy designer fashion.

In truth, the phone looks like one of those "Slap Wrap" slap bracelets kids used to wear in the 90s, but is sure to be about 1981025 times more expensive. There is no word yet if the Fluid will be featured in exotic tiger stripes or rainbow patterns.

Aside from a variety of photos, little is known about the endeavor outside of it simply just existing. Granted modern electronics are a constantly evolving trend, it just seems like this phone is simply vying for the "What will they think of next?" reaction rather than contemplating "What will our users want?"

The phone leaves me asking three questions myself: What type of redeemable processing power and hardware could fit in this flexible chassis?
How could said lack …

With the release ofGuitar Hero: Warriors of Rock on September 28th, Acitivision has a tall order when it comes to winning back fans of the once coveted trail blazing rhythm guitar phenomenon.

The franchise has been stagnant as of late, a redundant vessel too busy with its hands on all utters of the cash cow to realize that it has steadily grown light years behind Rock Band. Guitar Hero: Van Halen was an inexcusably lazy mess, so much so that Activision had to bundle it with Guitar Hero 5 to offload its supply. Released on December 22, 2009 and February 2010 internationally, the game would go on to sell less than 250,000 copies and would be the musical equivalent to this year's Ozzfest Main Stage.

“We engaged our fans to find out what they really wanted and then hand-picked over 90 tracks that deliver the ultimate rock experience,” said Tim Riley, Vice President of Music Affairs for Guitar Hero. “From the new guitar controller to the gameplay to the on-disc set list, Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock is truly a return to rock.”

With a plethora of new features starting with the aforementioned bundled guitar controller (see photo), Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock’s Quest Mode--the franchise’s first ever story-based career mode narrated by Gene Simmons, and unlockable perks (similar to Modern Warfare) with larger multipliers leading way to a 40-star song rating as opposed to the franchise's standard five, Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock …

Does anyone know where I can find major label brands at discount prices? If you do, let me know.

On Friday, the world’s largest online marketplace announced the launch of its U.S. exclusive eBay Bucks Rewards Program. The cashback incentive gives the consumer a 2% return on most items available for sale on the site.

"We're giving eBay's most loyal shoppers something special in return -- money to spend on eBay," said Lorrie Norrington, president of eBay Marketplaces. "eBay Bucks Rewards Program is free to join and easy to use, providing customers with even greater value when they shop the great selection and deals on eBay. With redemption rates well above industry average for comparable loyalty programs, eBay Bucks is a big hit with both buyers and sellers on eBay. It's seamless, simple and rewarding."

Once shoppers enroll in the rewards program, they can receive up to $200 for any single item and up to $500 per calendar quarter. Users are then presented with an eBay Bucks Certificate at the end of the three months, redeemable up to 30 days for eBay purchases through PayPal, the company’s payment processing sister site which now has over 87 million active accounts. Purchases not qualified under the promotion include all Classifieds, Business & Industrial Capital Equipment, Real Estate, and eBay Motors categories.

Over the course of the beta program, which was made available to a select group of customers for the past year, eBay discovered that consumers taking part in the program spent five times more on eBay purchases than average customers. When it was released …

Oracle announced Thursday evening (August 12) that they would be filing a lawsuit against Google, claiming that their Android phone software infringes upon patents and copyrights of their Java software, which they acquired when they purchased Sun Microsystems in January for $7.4 billion.

"In developing Android, Google knowingly, directly and repeatedly infringed Oracle's Java-related intellectual property. This lawsuit seeks appropriate remedies for their infringement," Oracle spokeswoman Karen Tillman said in an official statement.

The lawsuit, filed in the U.S. District Court in San Francisco, alleges that Google “willfully and deliberately” infringed upon seven Java patents and has even gone so far as to hire former Sun Java engineers to help with the development of the Dalvik Java Virtual Machine, the backbone of the Android OS. Even though the Android OS depends on Java to run, it is anything but a carbon copy.

"From a developer's perspective, Dalvik looks like a Java Virtual Machine, but strictly speaking, Dalvik is not a JVM. Dalvik executes dex bytecode, not Java bytecode. And there are differences in the structure of Dalvik class files as compared to Java class files. Nevertheless, for all intents and purposes, building an Android application is really an exercise in building a peculiar sort of Java application,"PCWorld’s Rick Grehan previously reported when the Android was originally released in 2008.

Google released the following statement Friday (August 13) afternoon: “We are disappointed Oracle has chosen to attack both Google and the open-source Java community with this …

As is a custom now with the video game pre-orders, Activision released the first pictures today of their Hardened and Prestige collector editions of Call of Duty: Black Ops today (August 12th).

The $79.99 Hardened Edition includes a copy of the game, a limited edition Black Ops Collector’s Medal with matching display case, four extra co-op maps, an exclusive Black Ops Xbox Live or PS Home avatar outfit, and comes enclosed in a premium SteelBook case.

The $149.99Prestige Edition is great for all the player’s sitting around in fatigues speaking to their friends in the phonetic alphabet. It includes everything previously mentioned in the Hardened Edition and a RC-XD Video Surveillance Vehicle, the remote control RC car similar to that of the ones seen in the recently released multiplayer debut trailer. The RC-XD has both a video camera and microphone and transmits video and sound back to the user’s controller at a range of 200 feet as they embark on a recon mission to track down their dignity.

Call of Duty: Black Ops is developer Treyarch’s latest installment of the Call of Duty franchise and is a direct sequel to Call of Duty: World at War. The game takes place across multiple locations during the Cold War conflict, including Cuba, Vietnam, Laos, and Iran. New weapons and killstreaks--including a napalm strike, guided missiles, and the RC car explosive--help revitalize the fail-safe multiplayer formula, which for the first time in the series history, includes …

According to a report released by the Entertainment Software Association (ESA) yesterday (August 10), the video game industry put $4.9 billion dollars in the U.S. economy’s back pocket in 2009, laughing in the face of its financial ruin.

The statistics, featured inVideo Games in the 21st Century: The 2010 Report, show the gaming industry growing at a rate of 10% from 2005 to 2009, which was more than seven times the entire U.S. economy combined. Total sales were at $7 billion in 2005, raising to an industry high of $11.7 billion in 2008, before declining back down to $10.5 billion last year.

"Despite a challenging economic environment, the entertainment software industry continues to grow and create new jobs at a rapid pace," said Michael D. Gallagher, president and CEO of the ESA, the trade association that represents U.S. computer and video game publishers. "Computer and video game companies have made an important contribution to our nation's economy while stimulating technological innovations and expanding the impact of games on our daily lives. As the findings of this report suggest, the entertainment software industry is well positioned to sustain these economic and social contributions well into the future."

The industry employs over 32,000 people, a number that has grown 9% annually since 2005. In 2009, the average employee made $89,781, including benefits. Publishing staff brought home more bacon than the the developers in the trenches, making $112,712 and $75,908 respectively.

California is the largest employer, providing $2.6 …

You see though Chuck, under Marceaux's “no measuring of the waist” policy, issues such as these will be a thing of the past. He'll put an end to all of this useless knowledge of cardiovascular disease by stopping all that unnecessary waist measuring. (I think he was actually trying to make some metaphor about public spending but had 13 too many Pabst Blue Ribbons before shooting the video). He's certainly an example, both physically and mentally, of how not to live your life.

It's funny you should say that though, about SNL. They were talking about Basil on the Opie and Anthony Show and Jim Norton said the same thing, how he's like a recurring character they'd make on the show. I honestly don't think you could even make this guy up.

Netflix users becoming growingly accustomed to stagnant queues of movies can breathe a sigh of relief. It was announced earlier today (August 10) that Netflix would embark on an estimated $1 billion deal over the course of the next five years with Epix, the premium pay-TV and video on demand (VOD) subscription service, beginning on September 1. Under the agreement, new releases and library titles available to stream instantly will make their way over to Netflix 90 days after they premier on Epix, to honor previous contracts with current cable and satellite companies. Historically, the rights to these theatrical releases are offered in upwards of nine years to pay-TV after their theater debuts, making for Epix’s venture with Netflix a first in the industry.

Created last year, Epix is a joint-venture featuring illustrious Hollywood partners Paramount Pictures (including Paramount Vantage, MTV Films and Nickelodeon Movies), MGM (and its affiliate United Artists), and Lionsgate (including its subsidiary Mandate Pictures). The channel and its VOD services are currently offered through Cox Communications, Mediacom, Dish Network, Character Communication, and Verizon FiOS, which according to a March 2010 interview with Epix president Mark Greenberg in the Los Angeles Times, has amassed them between 3 million and 4 million subscribers. DirecTV, Comcast, and Cablevision have all yet to buddy up to the service.

"Adding EPIX to our growing library of streaming content, as the exclusive Internet-only distributor of this great content, marks the continued emergence of Netflix as a …

George Washington once said he never told a lie. Abraham Lincoln eloquently addressed, "With malice toward none, with charity toward all." John F. Kennedy once exhorted, "Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country." Basil Marceaux once stoically exclaimed, “Vote for me and I will immune you from all state crimes for the rest of you [sic] life.” Wait, what?

It all started on WSMV-Nashville earlier in July, as an evening news segment for the Tennessee GOP governor’s race prepared to introduce the runners. The nervous co-host explained, "We have given all five candidates from the two major parties time during our news to let you know where they stand,in their own words, about the topics of their choosing." We very soon realized just why he was so uneasy.

Enter Basil Marceaux, the anxious, unintelligible, and potentially drunk oaf who spoke his initiatives with the poise and authority of an American janitor giving a public speech on rocket science in Japan. The insane and adorable ramblings of this GOP forgotten dark horse swept the internet like he was somebody far more qualified and far less incoherent, with millions of views on YouTube alone in the following weeks of his campaign. With local coverage costing his rivals valued campaign dollars, Marceaux was thrust under the national limelight for free, thanks to becoming the internet’s next glorified voice, or judging from his videos, lack there of.

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…

My apologies readers of Luxembourg; I spelled your name wrong. Oops!

Skype, the Luxemborg-based internet video phone service, filed for its initial public offering (IPO) on Monday (August 9) to list on the Nasdaq Stock Market. The value was tentatively set at $100 million, a number analysts suggest is merely a rough estimate set to help the Securities and Exchange Commission calculate a filing fee. They have yet to release a sales date or price.

The filings reported that in 2010, Skype has already generated more than $406 million from its over 560 million registered users, up 41% year-over-year. These numbers are staggering considering that only 6% of its users actually pay for the service and that Skype makes the majority of its money from users calling landlines or cellular phones. The report also states that users have collectively made more than 95 billion minutes of voice and video calls and have sent more than 84 million SMS messages so far in just half a year.

EBay bought Skype in 2005, selling 70% of its ownership four years later in September 2009 for $2.75 billion dollars to the private equity firm Silver Lake Partners. The firm currently owns 56% of that share; the remaining 14% is owned by the firm Joltid, controlled by Skype foudners Niklas Zennstrom and Janus Friis.

While free Skype-to-Skype calls are an enticing way to draw in customers, the company’s intentions moving forward are to build upon its stellar growth and concentrate on turning these users over into paying customers. New …

And while your parents may have told you to never take hugs and candy from strangers, I'm working on changing that by getting to know you.

My name is Tom Hodgson , and I'm honored to be one of the news contributors here at DaniWeb .

I love a lot of things:writing (obviously) music (NIN, TOOL, Pantera, Sigur Ros, and on and on) Crown Royal quoting lines fromPredator and Aliens poker MMA the Goosebumps "Choose Your Own Adventure" series collecting Pogs The Jersey Shore Breaking Bad The Dark Knight collecting Full House memorabilia late night Legends of the Hidden Temple Dunkeroos and Gushers being a HUGE nerd (currently playing Starcraft 2 and taking any and all comers at Modern Warfare 2. Yes, I play with people better than you. No, you won't beat us. ;)) I also hate a lot of things: movies that involve four middle aged promiscuous women, dance-offs, or plots about teen vampires "lulz" eating Combos to find a pretzel with no filling pizza without cheese men drinking Smirnoff Ice the fact someone wrote and producedStep Up 3D any musician on a "Now That's What I Call Music" album, which ironically, isn't what I call music mongoloid drivers brushing my teeth the guys to your right graphic tees that accentuate barb wire tattoos on biceps people in the WIC program going through express checkout people who type "Your retarded" Now I feel you should …

A city known for its liberal views and progressive trends has just blazed another trail for the country to follow.

The San Francisco Metro Transit Authority (SFMTA) has begun testing a new supply and demand based parking meter system at 6,000 of its 25,000 metered parking spots in conjunction with the U.S. Department of Transportation’s Urban Partnership Congestion Initiative. Phase one of the SFpark project, a two-year, $27 million federally funded program, is currently underway in Hayes Valley, with the installation of the first 190 meters over the past two weeks.

The project is designed with the San Fran driver in mind, helping alleviate the stress caused by patrolling city blocks in circles to find the best spot, which the SFMTA has estimated accounts for 30% of city driving and is at the heart of the overcrowding epidemic. At their current rates, meters across the city charge anywhere from $1.00 to $3.50 per hour. The new meter’s wireless sensors measure availability and leverage prices based on their current demand. The sensors then feed the real-time information to maps at SFpark.org, a 511 number, to mobile devices, and new electronic displays at heavily trafficked city areas, allowing for quick space-by-space, up to the minute curbside coverage.

Adding to the convenience, the new meters will also accept credit, debit, Smart Trip cards, and the soon-to-be SFMTA parking cards, in addition to the coins you’re accustomed to. In 2011, when the program is in full effect, time on …

Japanese mobile social gaming company DeNA, traded publicly on the Tokyo Stock Exchange, is reported massive first quarter profits yesterday (August 5th), with heavy implications that there may soon be a new social sheriff in town. Revenue for their first fiscal quarter reached $279 million, up 175% year-over-year. In comparison with leading U.S. competitor Zynga, who’s firsthalf of 2010 saw $350 million in revenue, DeNA is well on track to not only topple their empire, but to see $1 billion in sales before the year’s end.

“Becoming the premier social gaming company appears extremely feasible,” said Tomoko Namba, DeNA CEO.

These numbers come at the cusp of a social gaming revolution, which sees big names vying for the lucrative in-game economies and advertising dollars. As I had previously reported , Google recently purchased a 20% stake in Zynga, the leading U.S. social gaming company and creators of FarmVille, the soul-sucking Sim knockoff adored by over 61.6 million users. Their involvement with social gaming doesn’t end there, having recently embarked with fellow heavy hitters Playdom (recently acquired by Disney) and Playfish (recently acquired by Electronic Arts) to create a social gaming service rumored so far as “Google Me” . Their partnerships mark the beginning of what is sure to be a Rocky and Apollo battle with Facebook, as the two vie for the U.S. social market. While they wage war, DeNA is making their comeuppance like Clubber Lang, and have become a …